The Celestial Toymaker

DODO: Hey, if the Doctor's intangible, why did he need to open the doors? He could have just walked through them.

DODO: It looks dead boring to me.

(Such ominous words)

DOCTOR: You! I might have guessed!

(You did guess, Doctor! Literally seconds ago you were saying it was him!)

DOCTOR: Steven! Dodo! Take care. It's chair number.

DODO: I think I'm going to enjoy this game.

DOCTOR: Now don't start red herrings, you charlatan.

• Dudley Simpson is quite good here. The soundtrack is quite harsh and strange and for long periods the only vaguely interesting thing about the story. 
• The Trilogic game is unbelievably dull. None of the games are exactly thrilling, but I think the Trilogic game is the dullest of them all. Poor old Doctor having to spend the whole story playing that! 
• The clowns are just irritating. Carmen Silvera's voice (when Clara) is annoying, and Joey's face is punchable even by clown standards. And that's without mentioning the incredibly tedious game that they have to play. Avoiding obstacles. Gosh, how thrilling. And made even worse by Joey cheating, which seems to defeat the entire point of the bloody story, but hey ho. At least the fake blindfold is a relatively funny idea. 
• The King and Queen of Hearts are more fun than the clowns, partly because Carmen Silvera's much nicer to look at like that than done up as a clown with an annoying voice. The game, though. It's even worse than episode one's game. Seven chairs and only one is safe to sit in. Drawn out for twenty-five tooth-wrenchingly dull minutes. The poor old King and Queen can win their liberty if they win. A lengthy discussion of the implications of that and a Star Trek style story about how real they are and what rights they deserve would be more enjoyable than that tat of a game. 
  
• I find it interesting Steven tells Dodo off for believing in the "phantoms" they keep coming across considering she's just told him off for getting annoyed with them even though they aren't real. That is more interesting than a game which involves searching a kitchen for a key, though, which takes up a large part of episode three. What a dull game. Again. 
• The dancefloor game is the most enjoyable. It would be fun to see Peter Purves and Jackie Lane doing all that dancing. That it was choreographed by Tutte Lemkov is a shame. Since all the stories he acts in are missing, it's no surprise that this one is too. It's a shame this section is the shortest. 
• Cyril and his game aren't much fun either. It essentially involves watching the three of them hopping about. I can't believe Dodo falls for his tricks, though. Even for her that's dim. That said, his cheating does defeat the point, even if it does cause his own downfall. 
• It may not go down well, but I don't really enjoy Michael Gough's performance. Maybe it's partly because I have no interest in the character, but he doesn't really bring anything to the role.

Verdict

The Celestial Toymaker is by a distance my least favourite 60s story. It's a lifeless succession of uninteresting games that don't really go anywhere and are rather pointless anyway since the Toymaker cheats and doesn't allow any way for the heroes to properly win. With visuals it would be slightly less awful, possibly, but it'd still be close to Underworld as the worst of the worst. The best bit is the cliffhanger at the end of the story, not least because the caption "Holiday for the Doctor" comes up and you know that can only mean Donald Cotton.