The Tenth Planet

DOCTOR: Why don't you speak up? I'm deaf!

SERGEANT: Yes, sir, as I said they just appeared. From a hut.
CUTLER: AAAA HUUUTTTTT???

DOCTOR: I don't like your tone, sir.

CUTLER: And I don't like your face, nor your hair.

KRAIL: That was really most unfortunate. You should not have done that.

POLLY: Can I stay and help?
CUTLER: What do you think you could do?
POLLY: Well, I could make some coffee or something.

BEN: We saved their grotty planet Mandos.

(Mondas, Ben! Mondas!)

• I really don't get the point of the periscope they have at the base. It just seems to be there for anyone who gets bored and decides looking at some snow will be a laugh. 
• In its own way this is as strange and innovative as the two Ian Stuart Black stories we had at the end of last season. Watched as part of a marathon, this story feels new and a bit different. There hasn't been anything quite like it, and the tension and excitement levels are kept up admirably throughout. 
• The way Polly insists a bit of the upside down world (sorry, Mondas!) looks like Malaysia is hilarious. Yes, all the continents are there but upside down, and yet she zooms in massively on Malaysia and keeps repeating that it must be Malaysia. Is that the only part of the world she knows? I also love that "top astronomical circles" are hotly disputing whether or not the land masses resemble those of Earth. How bloody thick are those claiming they don't? It's a globe upside down, for heaven's sake! 
• It is fun that the Doctor knows what Mondas is. At the start of the series he hadn't heard of Skaro or the Daleks, but now he does know things, which is what we expect of him. 
  
• Cutler is told he's not allowed to use the Zee Bomb but he's allowed to use any action he deems necessary against the Cybermen. So he deicdes to deem the Zee Bomb necessary. Cheeky! I like how Ben somehow knows before he's told that the use of it will be dangerous. 
• These Cybermen are strange. They have names and they're very well-spoken. "That was really most unfortunate". When Barclay later suggests moving the warhead to a lower level one agrees by saying, "that will do". It does make them more menacing, though, since they're closer to human than they later become when they start babbling about deleting things. It also makes Ben's actions more tragic when he is forced into killing a Cybermen. His distress at having to do it is very human, very real. He does get a lot to do, though, which is fun. He works out the Cybermen dislike radiation and organises the rebellion. 
• If you were just watching without having read any publicity or the like, the end of this story must have been bloody bizarre! The hero of the series falls to the floor, his face completely changes and cut to music. That's it. Not even the tiniest little attempt at reassurance. And it gets worse next week, though that's (literally) another story. 
• The cliffhangers to episodes two and three are great. And four obviously isn't a bad one...

Verdict

The Cybermen do genuinely want to help. They believe it would be good to remove disease, war and death. That's what makes them scary. Or it is until they decide they can't be bothered and just want to blow up the Earth instead. It is very convenient the way they just fall apart when Mondas does, though. And not exactly explained adequately. That aside, the Tenth Planet is good fun. It's a tight, well-told, well-directed story that rarely lets up the suspense and ends on a shocking note.

The Smugglers

BEN: Dematerialising? What does that mean?
DOCTOR: You and this young lady are experiencing it. You are now travelling through time and space.
BEN: Yeah, well, make sure that I get back by teatime, Doctor. I've got to get back to my ship by tonight.

DOCTOR: See that scanner? That is what I call a scanner up there.

DOCTOR: Yes, well I know it's really difficult for both you to understand, but I'm under moral obligation.

BEN: We wouldn't stand a chance against Pike's mob. They're a right bunch of yobbos.

• Ben thinks seeing a church is evidence that they haven't gone back in time. Erm. Really, Ben? When exactly do you think all the thousands of churches across the country were built? I find it funny that Ben and Polly accept they've gone from London to Cornwall in seconds, but dismiss the idea that they might have time travelled. The Doctor does quite a good job in the Vicki/Steven role of laughing at them for not believing it. 
• At least Polly decides to have some fun frolicking on the beach. Ben worrying about being late will be echoed (slightly) with Tegan in many many years. Whereas Polly being a "lad" has already been done with Vicki. 
• The sight of the Doctor playing cards is a frightening one when the Celestial Toymaker still wasn't so long ago. I know it's a different game and for a completely different purpose, but there's still that moment of worry. 
• William Hartnell does "triumphant re-appearance" really well. The bit where Ben, Polly and Blake are discussing him and Polly says that he was "jolly crafty" at getting himself out of trouble in London, the Doctor appears behind them and says, "and why not here, my dear?" It is good that Hartnell gets to have some fun here. It's appropriate that his penultimate story is a silly historical. 
• The Doctor, Ben and Polly have a chance to escape, but the Doctor refuses because he has a "moral obligation" to save the village. What a fascinating thing for him to be saying at the beginning of the fourth season. In the first season he wouldn't have even paused, he'd have been out of there like a shot. The show has grown and changed so much in its first three years.

Verdict

The Smugglers is a fun, historical romp. Which is essentially the best type of story Doctor Who can do. And yet there's something slightly missing here. There are some nice layers. The way the Squire is someone not very good at it trying to be a villain and yet doesn't realise he's consorting with pirates is good fun. Blake is an interesting enough "good guy", helped by John Ringham's dependable performance. William Hartnell is in fine fettle. It feels like a story that's less than the sum of its parts. I think it is a story that would benefit from being seen. It's exciting the few times it does spark into life and we see bits of it. I'm not convinced seeing episode four would help it much, though. Much of it sounds like just another dreary action sequence.

The War Machines

DOCTOR: I hope Dodo and yourself have enjoyed yourselves.

DOCTOR: Well, just take a look at this, Sir Charles.

SUMMER: Tramp found dead in Covent Garden. 
DOCTOR: Yes. Three o'clock. That must have been after we left him!
(Well duh!)

DOCTOR: Ah, temper, temper!
 
DOCTOR: I've made an important readjustment to aid and change the purpose of this machine.
MINISTER: Oh, it sounds as though you've changed its character, Doctor.
(That isn't what he said...)

• The way Steven and Peter Purves were got rid of wasn't great, but the treatment of Dodo really is poor. Okay, the new production team wanted an annoying dolly bird and a sailor (who doesn't?), but that's no excuse for just jettisoning Dodo without even a goodbye scene. Steven got a hug and a handshake, Vicki got a nice final scene with Troilus. Dodo just vanishes. She might not have been the most popular companion ever, but she deserved better than that. 
• Dodo finds it funny that people might think the TARDIS is a real police box. Yeah, who would ever do that, eh, Dodo? I do like the Doctor putting the "out of order" sign on it, though. 
• Polly is useless at cheering people up. Her method of attempting to get Ben in a better mood is to say "cheer up!" at him a couple of times, pull a funny face at him and then give up in disgust in a matter of seconds. Compare and contrast to gentlemanly Ben insisting on running and getting a taxi for the Doctor to take him "home". That home is someone called Sir Charles Summer, who is letting the Doctor and Dodo stay with him! Either of the first two Doctors casually living with someone like that is really bizarre. 
• I'm sorry, but megalomaniac computers don't really interest me as an
  
  enemy. Especially ones that speak so bloody slowly! If you're going to have a computer as a baddie, at least have one that can speak at more than about 5 words per minute. Make that 4, actually, since just "Doctor Who is required" seems to take that long.
• I find it odd that brainwashed Polly convinces them to enlist Ben to help construct the War Machines and they accept without bothering to brainwash him! That's really being careless. They must know he'll be trying to escape? 
• The second half of episode three is incredibly dull. The army fighting the War Machines in some extremely uneventful scenes where you don't actually see anything anyway. Mainly because the War Machines are really badly designed. They're rubbish. And the only way those smashing arms can actually smash anybody is if they deliberately stand under them. Otherwise there's no chance.

Verdict 

This is in its own way as strange as the Savages. A story set in contemporary London and which even features a club! This feels like a different series just as much as the Savages did, although thankfully it doesn't feel like Star Trek this time. I'm not entirely sure what it does feel like, but at least the Doctor is himself again. Ben is great right from the start. Michael Craze really gets it right and I like just how quickly he becomes part of the team, with the Doctor fretting about having sent him to the warehouse and worrying that he won't be safe. The story is okay. It's not the strongest, for reasons I've gone through, but it's not bad either. Again, the strangeness of it helps, and Hartnell and Craze make a fun team.

The Savages

DOCTOR: This is my Reacting Vibrator.

(Oooh er!)

EDAL: We have no information about your companions.
DOCTOR: Oh, they're very pleasant. Yes, they're both very pleasant apart from their juvenile exuberances.

DODO: I hate conducted tours.

DOCTOR: Oppose you? Indeed I am going to oppose you, just in the same way that I oppose the Daleks or any other menace to common humanity.
JANO: I am sorry you take this attitude, Doctor. It is most unscientific. You are standing in the way of human progress.
DOCTOR: Human progress, sir? How dare you call your treatment of these people progress!

DOCTOR: You know, my dear, there's something very satisfying in destroying something that's evil, don't you think?
DODO: Yes!

(Smash!)

• The music is harsh and strange, but really effective. I like it when we get something unusual or risky, and this is not far off Sea Devils levels of bizarre. 
• I like the idea of the Doctor having his own fan club! A Doctor Who fan club, indeed, whatever next? 
• It's very sad seeing Steven leave. It really does feel like the last stages of the Hartnell era, as (apart from the Doctor, of course), Steven is the last real link we have to the very beginning of the show. Now we're left with companions who have never even met Ian or Barbara! It is a shame Steven wasn't retained for longer, as he's a really underrated character, just as Peter Purves is a really underrated actor. It would have been nice if he could stay on a bit longer. As it is, fingers crossed that his missing stories will be found so he can be better represented. 
• It's also sad as we head towards the end of the Hartnell era to see so little Hartnell. He's sidelined in the Massacre, hardly in Toymaker and now he spends half of this groaning or being very un-Doctorlike. 
• The way Avon and Flower are punished just because Dodo wandered off is really unpleasant. It's a nice way of emphasising what a horrible society this really is. 
• I'd love to be able to see Frederick Jaeger's Hartnell impression. It sounds great, but I wonder how good the visual mannerisms are. I also wonder what will happen if Jano suddenly loses the "sense of right and wrong" the Doctor has given him. Steven will be in quite a pickle then. 
• In a marathon, the Savages is by far the bizarrest story of the lot. It's like it's suddenly a completely different show. The Doctor is a doddery scientist happy to chat for hours with self-appointed "Elders" about perfect civilisations, Steven is a naive idiot and Dodo is suspicious and inquisitive. And it just feels so Star Trekky. Which is quite impressive as it pre-dates Star Trek! It's difficult to explain exactly why, although I suppose the whole "perfect society that's actually rotten to the core" has been done countless times on Trek. It's also the first time beyond the Daleks holding a grudge that we see people who actually know of the Doctor.

Verdict

The Savages is okay, but I don't think it's up to too much. It's also rather bland. There's nothing much actually to it. The strangeness of it helps to distract from what really is a fairly generic-feeling story and lack of much real action. A large part of episode three involves Steven, Dodo and Chal wandering around dark caves to escape Exorse. A decent first effort, but could do better.

The Gunfighters

HOLLIDAY: I never tolerated any complaints yet

DOCTOR: Well, I'm afraid I don't touch alcohol, but a little glass of milk and I should be only too delighted.

HARPER: Doc, I would like you to meet the Clanton brothers.
DOCTOR: The Clanton brothers! Oh dear! I mean, er, how d'you do?

DOCTOR: People keep giving me guns and do I wish they wouldn't.

DOCTOR: Doc Holliday's a great friend of mine. He gave me a gun, he extracted my tooth. Good gracious me, what more do you want?

DODO: I shall try not to kill you. I shall aim for your arm.
HOLLIDAY: That's real thoughtful. Just at the moment you're aiming right between my eyes.

• We get the first "Doctor Who?" joke for a while, and it's rather a good one. Not surprising, though, as this story is crammed full of excellent jokes. And bizarre lines and top class visual jokes. 
• Steven and Dodo's reaction to being in the Wild West is so sweet. It's pretty much exactly the reaction most people would have. And the way Wyatt Earp gently but firmly tells Steven off for his exuberance is great. 
• I know it's completely against the spirit of the story to even mention acting, but even for this story William Hurndall's performance as Ike
  
  Clanton really is abominable. I only mention it because it doesn't actually affect the story in a negative way. If anything, it adds to it, because any time he has to do or say anything I burst out laughing. Much like when the Clantons try and say the Doctor won't get out, "alive, that is!" in unison and fail miserably. 
• I like the way the Doctor is written in this story. He doesn't even realise there won't be anaesthetic (even though he was worried by the giant tooth outside). I love how Holliday offers him a choice of a smack on the head or alcohol to dull the pain. And then Holliday dresses the Doctor up as himself to try and get him killed! I love the way Doc can do that and still be portrayed as one of the good guys! I love all the (accidental) gun-waving the Doctor does in this story, particularly when he waves it at the Clantons and threatens to kill an unarmed Seth Harper (who is played by Scott Tracy from Thunderbirds!) 
• Richard Beale gives William Hartnell a really hard shove. Be careful with him! I wonder if/how much they rehearsed that? 
• Dodo is so inconsistent. She gets angry at Steven and tells him to "just have a good time with your new friends!" when he's forced at gunpoint to play the piano! How stupid can she be? And then she makes up for that later by pulling a gun on Doc Holliday and taking him prisoner (with a little help from him). She's also the one who saves the day in the gunfight, so go Dodo! Jackie Lane is always great, however oddly Dodo is written at times. 
  
• I love it when Steven accidentally calls Wyatt Earp "Mr Werp" after having heard the Doctor calling him that all through the story. Peter Purves is generally great in this. He does the comedy stuff so well. As does Hartnell. They were both born to play those comic scenes. 
• As usual with Donald Cotton, you get some great titles. "A Holiday for the Doctor" and "Don't Shoot the Pianist" are amongst the best of the lot. It's a shame the last two are a little mundane, especially as they're the last two episode titles ever. I think it's a shame they abandoned individual episode titles. It always added an extra little bit of fun and debate. And it would be fun to see how many people would have learnt every single episode title from the entire 26 years.

 

Verdict

In case it wasn't already obvious, I love the Gunfighters. For me it's right up there with the very very best of Doctor Who. It's blessed relief in a marathon, too, as it's the first deliberately funny story since the Myth Makers (gosh, what's the connection there?), which feels like ages ago now. Top marks to all involved. It's brilliant, and along with the Massacre makes Season 3 feel truly special.

The Celestial Toymaker

DODO: Hey, if the Doctor's intangible, why did he need to open the doors? He could have just walked through them.

DODO: It looks dead boring to me.

(Such ominous words)

DOCTOR: You! I might have guessed!

(You did guess, Doctor! Literally seconds ago you were saying it was him!)

DOCTOR: Steven! Dodo! Take care. It's chair number.

DODO: I think I'm going to enjoy this game.

DOCTOR: Now don't start red herrings, you charlatan.

• Dudley Simpson is quite good here. The soundtrack is quite harsh and strange and for long periods the only vaguely interesting thing about the story. 
• The Trilogic game is unbelievably dull. None of the games are exactly thrilling, but I think the Trilogic game is the dullest of them all. Poor old Doctor having to spend the whole story playing that! 
• The clowns are just irritating. Carmen Silvera's voice (when Clara) is annoying, and Joey's face is punchable even by clown standards. And that's without mentioning the incredibly tedious game that they have to play. Avoiding obstacles. Gosh, how thrilling. And made even worse by Joey cheating, which seems to defeat the entire point of the bloody story, but hey ho. At least the fake blindfold is a relatively funny idea. 
• The King and Queen of Hearts are more fun than the clowns, partly because Carmen Silvera's much nicer to look at like that than done up as a clown with an annoying voice. The game, though. It's even worse than episode one's game. Seven chairs and only one is safe to sit in. Drawn out for twenty-five tooth-wrenchingly dull minutes. The poor old King and Queen can win their liberty if they win. A lengthy discussion of the implications of that and a Star Trek style story about how real they are and what rights they deserve would be more enjoyable than that tat of a game. 
  
• I find it interesting Steven tells Dodo off for believing in the "phantoms" they keep coming across considering she's just told him off for getting annoyed with them even though they aren't real. That is more interesting than a game which involves searching a kitchen for a key, though, which takes up a large part of episode three. What a dull game. Again. 
• The dancefloor game is the most enjoyable. It would be fun to see Peter Purves and Jackie Lane doing all that dancing. That it was choreographed by Tutte Lemkov is a shame. Since all the stories he acts in are missing, it's no surprise that this one is too. It's a shame this section is the shortest. 
• Cyril and his game aren't much fun either. It essentially involves watching the three of them hopping about. I can't believe Dodo falls for his tricks, though. Even for her that's dim. That said, his cheating does defeat the point, even if it does cause his own downfall. 
• It may not go down well, but I don't really enjoy Michael Gough's performance. Maybe it's partly because I have no interest in the character, but he doesn't really bring anything to the role.

Verdict

The Celestial Toymaker is by a distance my least favourite 60s story. It's a lifeless succession of uninteresting games that don't really go anywhere and are rather pointless anyway since the Toymaker cheats and doesn't allow any way for the heroes to properly win. With visuals it would be slightly less awful, possibly, but it'd still be close to Underworld as the worst of the worst. The best bit is the cliffhanger at the end of the story, not least because the caption "Holiday for the Doctor" comes up and you know that can only mean Donald Cotton.

The Ark

MANYAK: Steven, prove to us your good faith. Would your friend, the Doctor, have any knowledge how to deal with this fever?
STEVEN: Yes, he probably would if you'd let him out of that cell so that he had a chance to experiment.
ZENTOS: Yes, of course he would. He would love that and by such means spread the fever even further and faster.

(Utter utter moron)

MANYAK: If they were in fact agents of the Refusians, they could have a achieved their objective in a much simpler way. One in which they would not have exposed themselves to this danger.

WOMAN: That's no argument!

(Um, yes it is. A much better argument than any of the prosecutors ever come near!)

ZENTOS: Thank you, Doctor. So you were right after all!

(What a shameless git)

MONOID 2: Don't worry. It may not take as long as you think.
DODO: What do you mean? Are you up to something?
MONOID 2: Er, no.

• Steven’s attitude towards Dodo not knowing the TARDIS is a space and time machine is a bit cheeky considering what he was like in the Time Meddler. And though I like Dodo (yes, I do. At least she has fun and makes the most of her adventures), it’s interesting that when presented with a statue that the Guardians talk about with such pride she tries to scratch it. That’s very bad form, Dodo! 
• I don’t know where to begin with “Commander”. Well, firstly that he doesn’t have a name. Why doesn’t he have a bloody name? It’s the opposite of the Space Museum, where Lobos had a name and nobody else did. Secondly, Eric Elliott is terrible. Really terrible. He’s supposed to be the nice one, but the way he says the Doctor and co. should be “not arrested, but invited” is delivered as if he thinks he’s playing someone truly evil. I think he must be the worst actor since Lorne Cassette Tape in the Sensorites. 
• The thing about “Earth years” is odd, too. Before the Doctor even shows up there’s a trial where “Commander” says that the person guilty of the thing that’s never really specified will be miniaturised and then reconstituted in “apsproximately (sic) 700 years”. So why, later, when Steven asks him, does he say that they’ll reach Refusis in “700 years in your way of telling time”? Is he just being a snob about it? 
  
• Zentos is so bloody annoying. He’s a moron. If they’re 700 years from Refusis, how can the Doctor be from there anyway? And putting Steven in a cage to yell abuse at him and decide he’s guilty before the trial even begins is fascinating. Doesn’t say much for humans of the future. Though I do admire Zentos for the guts he has to condemn someone to death and ignore all the fairly obvious evidence in their favour and then when it turns out they were innocent simply say, “so you were right after all, Doctor!” with a friendly smile at the end. “HAHAHA I condemned you in the most absurd kangaroo court that’s ever been seen, but since I was overruled by somebody who actually has two brain cells, no harm done, eh? We’re still best mates, eh? Apology? Grovelling? Never heard of those words, I’m afraid”. It’s ridiculous. 
• The Security Kitchen. The story gets so many brownie points for having a security kitchen. 
• It’s nice of the Monoids to sort the situation out for everyone. They tell the Doctor where the bomb is hidden and then proceed to kill each other. But then, they’re not a smart race. Giving away their plans, breaking vases for no apparent reason, having security kitchens… 
• I like how Erickson and Scott feel the need to remind us that there’s a bomb in such a patronising manner (“remember the bomb, three? Remember it? That bomb we’ve been talking about lots and lots? Remember? The bomb?”) in an episode that’s called “the Bomb”!

Verdict

I want to like the Ark. It’s doing something a little bit different. The idea of finding out the consequences of the Doctor’s involvement is a good one. It’s just a shame it has to be this. There’s just so much that doesn’t work, or is simply plain stupid. Worst of all, large patches are really fairly dull. Some stories improve with repeat viewings, but I find I like the Ark less and less every time. It also ends with something of an anti-climax. A fairly ominous one, too, as the Doctor instructs the humans and Monoids to make peace. Maybe the new series should visit Refusis 700 years on again and find out what the crazy kids have got up to now.